I miss 'You'

I miss you terribly, unfathomably, senselessly and deeply. Each moment, when I step into another breath, I want to feel your presence around me. I want to sit down with you, on the bench of a garden that was long ago abandoned. I want to put my arm around you and hold you close, just to tell you that I don’t want to let you go. 

I want to sit with you under a starlit sky in the winter nights and narrate to you the stories of my life in Hopetown. I want to go on a long walk with you and do all the stupid things that I had till date just wondered about. I want to share all my fears with you and cry while having my head clung to your chest. 

I want to hear you laugh when I tell you about the most embarrassing moments of my life. I want to silently peep into your face when we watch your favourite movies together. On a few occasions, I want to wake up to the hums of your favourite songs and to a plate of your favourite breakfast.

I want to do all that you have ever wished to do, with you.  I want to visit all those places that have made you this tough, strong and the optimist that you are.

I want to drown in all the stories that make your thoughts race in silence. I otherwise don’t like to come across as weak, but I’ll allow myself to be vulnerable when you’re around, because I know you’ll understand that being vulnerable is a strength in itself.

I miss your easy-going humour, your ability to make anyone smile, your kindness.

I miss you now because now is when I’m feeling alone. I’ve been trapped inside myself and have lost the key. And if you were here, I know you’d find a way to get me out of it; Only if I knew who ‘you’ were and where I could find ‘you’.

I know you’re there and we’re yet to cross paths, but when we do, I’ll know it’s ‘you’. I have no idea what you look like, tall or short, brown or black eyes, plump or not-so-much. For now, all I know is that we’re going to grow happier, together. And who knows, maybe you turn out to be the guy I always imagined.

I’m sitting here on the stairs, but my thoughts are miles away. To wherever you are this evening. Wishing so much I could touch your face, your hair, that beautiful smile. And have you sit beside me. In silence. But together.

 I know you’re worth the wait; and I know that you’re probably looking for me too. I know you’re there, I just haven’t discovered you yet.