MILESTONE TO ULTIMACY

A mere smile, and I can fly to be on cloud nine. A single simple word of appreciation and I can make it last for a week. A small little chat and it can bring tears to my eyes. A tiny act of appreciation and it can push me up to touch the sky. An effort to teach and I will just give out the best of me. A feeling of warmth and I can feel that the entire world loves me. A hug in times of need and I can solve the puzzle of my life. A ‘SOMEONE’ to walk with and I can feel like everything’s going my way. A sound when I’m alone and it can give me all the comfort I need. A finger to wipe my tears and it can heal completely. An angel to share a bite of chocolate with and it can mean the world to me. A friend who can give happiness, and I can walk past the road of infinity with him. 

Amazing, isn’t it? To have a vision so clear and a ‘SOMEONE’ so dear! 

But look back at all of it once again and let us ask ourselves as to how often have we been the ‘SOMEONE’s to anyone else?

Life is full of expectations. We sleep with the broken pieces of today and wake up, horrified, with the shards of yesterday. But this isn’t how it was meant to be. We were created, in the arms of love, to sleep after learning from the broken pieces of today and to wake up every next morning as if it was just another beginning to the rest of our Life: giving only that which we want to get and knowing that its LOVE and CARE makes the world so FAIR.

Once More

She choked on every breath
under the shadow of the sneering fault-finder
that she was having to face
each moment, each day.
She was screamed at, once more,
after, she smiled and sang aloud, once more,
and when it was cold and dark,
she curled up in her warm bed, once more.
And slowly, without a sound,
her chest moved up and down, in its own rhythm,
as she sobbed through the night, once more.
Her throat ached from holding the sound of her cry,
her jaw seemed to have lost its strength,
and her empty 'pocket of Love' teased her, once more.
She closed her eyes trying to fight back,
she hugged her pillow, wore a smile,
thought of the good times and fell asleep.

She'd added a unit of strength to herself, once more.

And maybe that's why people touch and hug too...
To be able to share every feeling,
without having to say anything.

A Story

When you awoke, the sun was perfect,
you battled to get out of bed
on the cold breezy winter morning
until a gush of thoughts blew your head away.
You hurriedly wore your mother's favorite dress,
cladded deeply your eyes with kohl,
and faintly painted your lips a shade of red
savoring of  positivity and hope.

It was your first day at work,
and you wanted to be very sure,
so you shun your fears with a scintilla of bliss,
and made the long walk through the corridor.
You put forth your hand, said hellos and greeted your boss,
And just then,
you stumbled upon a stair and fell,
and your dress now wore a new stain.
But 'there' was born a whole new story to tell,
The moment you smiled and stood up again. 
 

I miss 'You'

I miss you terribly, unfathomably, senselessly and deeply. Each moment, when I step into another breath, I want to feel your presence around me. I want to sit down with you, on the bench of a garden that was long ago abandoned. I want to put my arm around you and hold you close, just to tell you that I don’t want to let you go. 

I want to sit with you under a starlit sky in the winter nights and narrate to you the stories of my life in Hopetown. I want to go on a long walk with you and do all the stupid things that I had till date just wondered about. I want to share all my fears with you and cry while having my head clung to your chest. 

I want to hear you laugh when I tell you about the most embarrassing moments of my life. I want to silently peep into your face when we watch your favourite movies together. On a few occasions, I want to wake up to the hums of your favourite songs and to a plate of your favourite breakfast.

I want to do all that you have ever wished to do, with you.  I want to visit all those places that have made you this tough, strong and the optimist that you are.

I want to drown in all the stories that make your thoughts race in silence. I otherwise don’t like to come across as weak, but I’ll allow myself to be vulnerable when you’re around, because I know you’ll understand that being vulnerable is a strength in itself.

I miss your easy-going humour, your ability to make anyone smile, your kindness.

I miss you now because now is when I’m feeling alone. I’ve been trapped inside myself and have lost the key. And if you were here, I know you’d find a way to get me out of it; Only if I knew who ‘you’ were and where I could find ‘you’.

I know you’re there and we’re yet to cross paths, but when we do, I’ll know it’s ‘you’. I have no idea what you look like, tall or short, brown or black eyes, plump or not-so-much. For now, all I know is that we’re going to grow happier, together. And who knows, maybe you turn out to be the guy I always imagined.

I’m sitting here on the stairs, but my thoughts are miles away. To wherever you are this evening. Wishing so much I could touch your face, your hair, that beautiful smile. And have you sit beside me. In silence. But together.

 I know you’re worth the wait; and I know that you’re probably looking for me too. I know you’re there, I just haven’t discovered you yet.

Kuch Kehna Tha Tumse

Mujhe yaad hai wo din. Wo din tumne aur maine saath bitaya tha. Matlab, wo din thoda alag tha aur uss din hum bahut hase the. Ussi din shaam hote-hote hum chaaron roye bhi bahut the. Us din humne kitni saari tasveerein bhi lee thi. Yaad hai tumhe bhi?

Kya tumhe yaad hai ki tumne aur meine uss din kya kya harkatein kee thin? Ruko, mei batati hun.

Un dono ki farewell presentation chal rhi thi aur tum aur mei kaafi bore ho rhe the. Kuch der tak uss corridor mein ghoomne ke baad hum uss chote se kamre mein, jahan hum sab aksar baitha karte the, wahan chale gaye. Par wahan jaane se kya humari bhookh mit jaati?
To phir humne uski scooty lee aur uss kone wale dhaabe par gaye, aur scooty ki speed jo thi wo to tumhe yaad hi hogi na? Aur uss din, kyonki sirf hum dono hi the, to humne chaap khaayi thi. Aur yaad hai wo uncle jo humari hi table pe humare saamne baithe the? Haye, kitna hase the hum! Aur sach kahun to mujhe nhi pata ki hum kyun has rahe the. Par aaj bhi jab wo din aankhon ke saamne aata hai to pata hi nhi chalta kab chehre pe ek muskaan aa jaati hai.

Jab khaa kar aaye to farewell ka informal part chal raha tha. Aur wo sab dekh kar mein bhi emotional ho gayi aur un seedhiyon ke saamne wale shade ke neeche baith ke mein rone lagi. Tum mujhe chup karaane ki bajaye mere phone mei pata nhi kitne saalon puraani kya kya cheezein dekh rahe the. Phir wo dono bhi aa gaye aur hum unke saath meri favourite waali seedhiyon par jaa kar baith gaye. Function khatam hua. Mei aur zyada rone lagi. Aur mujhe dekh wo bhi royi thi. Phir hum canteen ke paas gaye. Kuch khaya. Bahut si tasveerein lee, aur bas phir mein ghar chali gayi.

Wo saari tasveerein to hongi na tumhare paas? Kabhi kabhi to dekhte hoge tum unhe? Hum sab ki yaad bhi aati hogi na? Humari baatein bhi karte hoge shayad tum apne naye doston ke saath. Un jagahon par bhi gaye hoge na jahan humne ladaaiyaan ki thi, jahan hum khoob hase the aur jahan humne kitna saara waqt saath bitaya tha?

Waise ek baat kehni thi tumse. Tum koshish karoge na, to wo maan jaayenge. Sab pehle jaisa shayad na ho, par wo apni kadwaahat bhool jayenge. Tum please unse baat karna aur unhe mana lena taaki kuch saalon baad, wo jab bhi tumhara naam sunein, to wo muskura sake. Aur jab bhi tum unki koyi nayi tasveer kahin dekho, to tumhe kabhi koshish hi na karne ka afsos na ho.

DARD

Ek din, kaafi aur dino ki tarah, wo baithi thi apne ghar se bahut door, ek ghar ke us kone ki seedhiyon par, wahan jahan se pahaad aur sooraj ka sabse khoobsuarat nazara dikhayi padta tha. Aur us or dekhte hue kuch khoyi khoyi si lag rhi thi wo.

Apne maathe pe aayi shikan ko apni lehraati zulfon se chupana chah rhi thi shayad wo. Phir un zulfon ki kuch latton ko apni ungli aur angoothe ke sahare ghuma rhi thi, kuch waise hi jaise bachpan mei kabhi apni maa ko ro ro kar apne ird-gird nachaaya hoga usne. Lagta hai, ghoomne ghumaane ka kaafi shaukh rakha karti hogi wo.

Par tumse ek darkhwaasat hai. Use yun dekh kar us-se kabhi pooch na lena ki uske maathe pe wo shikan kisne banayi, aur ye ki wo use chupa kyu rahi thi. Use kabhi apni zulfon se khelne se tok na dena. Uske pahaadon se baatein karne par hans mat dena aur use uske ghar ki yaad na dila dena. Kabhi us-se tum uski bachpan ki kahaaniyan sunaane ko na keh dena.

Kyonki, jab tumhe ye saari baatein suna kar wo thak gayi hogi, aur ab tumahri kahaniyaan sun-na chahti hogi, aur tumhare paas use sunaane ko kuch hoga nhi, kyunki zindagi ko uski tarah paakheejgi se tumne kabhi nihara nhi hoga, aur tumhe wo boriyat bhi lagne lagi hogi, tab, tum kuch bahana bana kar apne ghar laut jaaoge aur phir use bhool jaaoge.

Par pata hai, wo tab bhi kisi roz, kisi aur khoobsurat nazaare ke paas baithi, tumhari hasi ko yaad karte hue, kuch isi tarah, khoyi khoyi si muskura rhi hogi.

Darasal tab, use dard bahut hota hoga.

YOURS TRULY

Dear,
It’s been a while.
Let’s have a cup of coffee,
let’s go back to our hiding,
and listen to the silence
that takes you through smiles.
It’s been a while
Since you took a picture,
Since you thought you’re beautiful,
Since you went to the library
and left a note for the next reader.
It’s been a while,
you’ve lost your epitome of hope,
you’ve misplaced your vibrant aura,
you’ve forgotten to replace
uncertainty with hope.
I know it’s been a while
or maybe a little longer,
or maybe the longest ever;
but you’ve got to now
look at the rainbows of your life,
wonder at the pages left
and all the places they’ll lead.
Pour out to me all, dear,
that still puts you through the ache,
and I’ll gently hum around your heart
till you fall into your dream each day.
Because, there is a story of your life,
Of your worries and despair,
a battle for you to fight.
And I hope you fill the pages right.
Much love, Yours truly.

जाने कितनी याद आयी होगी

न जाने कितनी बार घर का ताला खोलते हुए आपको सिर्फ़ घंटी बजा देने का मन हुआ होगा,

कितनी बार पानी का गिलास भरते हुए वो टेबल पर रखा पानी का भरा गिलास याद आया होगा,

वही सब्ज़ी और ब्रेड दिन में तीनों वक़्त खाते हुए आपको कितनी बार वो रसोई याद आई होगी,

न जाने कितनी बार आपको हम सब की और उस घर की याद आई होगी। 

न जाने कितनी बार सुबह उस अलार्म की जगह आपको हमारी आवाज़ सुनने का मन हुआ होगा,

कितनी बार वो चाय की प्याली जो आपको तैयार मिलती थी, याद आई होगी,

वो माँ याद आई होंगी जो अक़्सर ज़बरदस्ती आपकी थाली में एक और रोटी डाल दिया करती थीं,

न जाने कितनी बार आपको हम सब की और उस घर की याद आयी होगी। 

न जाने कितने रविवार फ़िर हमारे ज़िद की आवाज़ें सुनने का मन हुआ होगा,

फिर बस एक फ़ोन से ही अपने मन को संतुष्ट कर आपको मुस्कुराना पड़ा होगा,

वो झगड़े और लड़ाइयाँ जिन्हें रोकते कभी आप थकते नहीं थे, याद आईं होंगी,

न जाने कितनी बार आपको हम सबकी और उस घर की याद आई होगी।

न जाने कितनी बार रात के उस अंधेरे में अपने बच्चों के साथ खेलने का मन हुआ होगा,

कितनी बार खाना अकेले खाते हुए वो सन्नाटा आपके कानों में चुभा होगा,

वो जिसे सुन कर आप आराम से अपना काम  करत रहते थे, वो चिलचिलाहट याद आयी होगी,

न जाने कितनी बार आपको हम सब की और उस घर की याद आयी होगी।

न जाने कितनी बार बाज़ार में कुछ सामान देख उसे हमारे लिए लेने का मन हुआ होगा,

कितनी बार हमारे लिए दो महिने पहले लेकर रखा सामान आपको हमारी याद दिलाता होगा,

वो कोने में पड़ी चादर हर रोज़ घर की कुछ अलग कहानी सुनाती होगी,

न जाने कितनी बार आपको हम सब की और उस घर की याद आयी होगी।

न जाने कितनी बार हमे एक बार फिर गले लगाने का मन हुआ होगा,

कितनी बार सब पीछे छोड़ हमारे पास वापस चले आने का सोचा होगा,

वो आईने ने भी हमारी मुस्कान आपको हर रोज़ दिखाई होगी,

न जाने कितनी बार आपको  हम सब की और उस घर की याद आयी होगी।

न जाने कितनी बार हमारा भी आपके पास आ जाने का मन हुआ होगा,

कितनी बार आपके गोद में सर रख रोने को दिल ने चाहा होगा, 

वो आपके साथ बिताई हर दिवाली जाने कितनी बार हमने भी दिल ही दिल दोहराई होगी,

पापा, शायद उतनी ही बार हम सब को और उस घर को भी आपकी याद आयी होगी।